And a Million years Gone By
by IlovetowriteSMP
Summary: Heros aren’t supposed to die like this. Carly watches as Jason slips away. Jarly friendship. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**And a Million Years Gone By**

**A very sad Jason and Carly story that takes place on the last day of his life. It has four very short chapters.**

Chapter 1

**Author's note- I did not specify in this story what year it is so you can leave it to your own imagination as to how old Jason is.**

I always thought he would die quick. The images filled my nightmares- Jason crumbling to the ground over and over because of a bullet he didn't see coming. Other times I would see flames, bright orange life stealing flames from a bomb that destroyed his car or home.

I wondered sometimes, when I woke up, if these were the same pictures that dotted Sonny's dreams. Did he think that fate would come to himself ?

And I wondered, back when I was still his wife, why I never had those nightmares about Sonny dying.

No, that's a lie. I knew why it was only Jason I saw. I always knew it would be him leaving me that would make my life almost not worth living anymore.

As I enter the room where he spends most of his time now and see him laying on the bed, so frail, his body a fragment of what it once was, I find myself feeling grateful to the women who have loved him in the past.

I am grateful to Sam because she was with him when the first brain tumor struck. She watched him fading away then, as I have this time. I worried during the first brain tumor but I never felt like this...this _knowing_ that Jason could not beat it.

I am grateful to Robin because she helped to get him the drug that gave him back more time. That drug gave him hope that it wouldn't end like this. But when this tumor came back again there was nothing she could do. Though, like everyone who loves him, like me, Robin tried desperately to find a way to keep him here.

I am grateful to Liz because she has been his private nurse in these last few months, as the time dwindles away to only hours, or maybe..._dear God, help me..._maybeless.

Liz straightens from leaning over him, I can hear some whispered words but don't try to make them out. She passes by me and leaves quietly.

Jason's fingers move slightly on the blanket, lift a millimeter. He is saying hello to me.

I sit on the bed and brush his hair away from his eyes. They are sunken into his pale face. So unlike my gorgeous Jason of the past; there was never anyone who looked so good in a motorcycle jacket or in nothing at all. There was never another man like him, not in my world at least. Not in the whole world, I suspect.

"Hey," he says with a small smile. His voice in weak now. I'm glad he is home with me for this. He insisted on not staying at the hospital and I couldn't have been happier when he said he would allow me to stay at the Penthouse with him.

I know he didn't want me to see this. Hell, I didn't want to see this. But I would never miss this either. I am his for as long as he has and then...

I push away the image of me alone. I am not alone right now. And now is all that can matter in this moment.

A long breath escapes my lips. I have to do this right, perfect, Jason deserves that.

"Hey, Jase."

We have talked about it all already. About the time I got drunk in that drinking contest. About the time he gave me rings to replace the ones A.J. put on my finger. About the times we bet 20 bucks. About Micheal and Morgan and us.

We haven't spoken about wishes though. Neither of us will say_ I wish I could have married you_. _I wish I would have said something that made it all different_. _I wish there was a chance to still do that.  
_

Jason and I know these things lay between us always but there is not time for wishes anymore. His strength will give out soon and it must be saved for only the most important words.

"It was good... wasn't it..my life?" he asks me now. His words are faint but I can hear him, feel him as strong as ever. I take his hand, and even now, it shocks me how cold it is.

" And ...me and you...Carly..." his breathing is ragged. I want to tell him to stop trying to talk but I love the sound of his voice and soon it will be gone. I am selfish to the end because I allow him to struggle to say these last few things. "You and me... were the...best."

"Yeah, Jase, it was great and we were the best. The best ever." I lay my head on his chest. I can not bare to see this.

He is the one who makes me strong and now I must summon my memories of his holding me up in the past so I can do this on my own. So I can be here for the end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note- I know this one is sad but I got the idea and went with it. I think it does so intense love and loyalty between them even till the end.**

**There are two short chapters after this.**

**Chapter 2 **

I sit back up and raise his hand to my lips. I kiss it tenderly.

Over the last few days everyone has come. And on the faces of his mother, sister, and friends I see grief so stark I lose my breath. But not my mind. I will bare this, I must.

"Love you always," I promise him. And there are no tears. I cry alone now. Jason should not have to comfort me.

"Love...yeah..." he groans in pain. His body convulses for a moment.

I start to shake, too, and wish I took Robin's advice about the morphine drip. Jason said the shots were enough to dull his pain. They aren't.

Somehow I know that it is coming soon. This time is not like the other close calls, he is leaving me. The room is dark but even in the pale light of the evening sun I see his fingers turning blue.

And all I want, all I want so damn bad, is to be able to make this not be happening. To save him. He saved me so I should be able to do that for him. But all I can do is be here.

"This sucks." he says right before he starts coughing

"It sure does."

He pushes the words out, "Hate knowing...the ending."

He's right.

That is the worst part really. To know the **full scope **of what your life has been.

That must be why the teen years are sometimes referred to as the best years. Because that is when you have the most precious thing life has to

offer, after love because love must always come first, _hope_. And possibilities. Endless sweet possibilities. What I would give for Jason to feel like that now.

I sigh thinking of me and him back when we didn't know how it would end up. And didn't care. And couldn't be bothered to think that far ahead.

"This isn't the end of anything, Jason. I will see you again."

His eyes, so tortured, fill with worry for me. "Not ...soon. Long time."

"Not that long."

"Long...time."

"Wait for me." I plead and, surprising myself, there are tears left to cry. I thought I had mastered this one thing, not crying in front of him.

"Carly..." the word is light as air and drags on and on. And then a single syllable escapes him, so thin is the sound and I have to wonder if I imagined it, I hear:

"Jake's."

His eyelids start to drift the last small inch until they are closed. His blue eyes lost to me forever.

I throw myself on his chest then. It rises, it falls. He is still here.

"Jason, Jase, oh...my love...stay, stay."

Long minutes past and I know he has said all he ever will ever say to me. He breathing is so shallow now, it seems to stop at times and start again much later.

I should call someone. Robin, Liz or Emily would know what to do for him medically. If there was anything. But there is not, they have told me already.

So I hold him. I lay down next to him and cling to this man I have loved so long that time stops having any meaning. I have loved him for one million years, at least.

And I will love him for millions more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The suns slips down out of the sky, leaving us in the dark. My lips start moving, but no sound comes out at first, it is like I have to work up the energy to form words.

I sing to him a song I heard on the radio not long after I had the miscarriage. Ever since then it has represented to me love in it's purest form- the kind that transcends logic, life and death.

My words are so soft I don't know if he can hear me. I am not sure he is even still conscious. **_"All alone, I didn't like the feeling. All alone, I sat and cried. All alone, I had to find some meaning in the center of the pain I felt inside._**

All alone, I came into the world. All alone, I will someday die. Solid stone is just sand and water, baby. Sand and water, and a million years gone by."

Jason opened my heart and taught me about love that has no height, depth or limit. And even in this day he has given me a gift. He has let me spend his last moments with him.

But it is not over yet. For his chest still, ever so slightly, rises and falls.

My lips barely move as I sing, the words sound less like a song and more like a promise,  
**_"I will see you in the light of a thousand suns. I will hear you in the sound of the waves. I will know you when I come, as we all will come, through the doors beyond the grave. _**

_**  
All alone, I heal this heart of sorrow. All alone, I raise this child. Flesh and bone, he's just bursting towards tomorrow. And his laughter fills my world, and wears your smile.**_

All alone, I came into the world. All alone, I will someday die."

My hand moves up to rest on his heart. Why is it slowing down?

How can this be fair, God? Tell me that. You have taken my unborn baby. You have my father. You can not have Jason.

Jason is mine, God. You just have to understand that. Let him stay with me. Please. Please.

What do you want?!

You can have anything but my boys, mother, brother, Lulu, Lucky..._ leave me the Spencers you can have anything else_...you can take the money, the house, the business.

You want all that, have it!

You can take my health. Take my legs, my arms. But not Jason...not Jason, okay? **_Deal? _**

I finally look up and he is still. I shake him but even as his body moves beneath my hands there is not recognition in his face, he stays asleep... or...

My head falls to his chest. Nothing.

I hear a moan and look at him. Nothing. The moan was me.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I sing to my best friend,**_ "I will see you in the light of a thousand suns. I will hear you in the sound of the waves."_**

Come back to me, please. Give me more time, just a little more, to love you better. To find a cure. To make this all end different. He doesn't move and his face is changed now.

Not really him anymore.

And then his chest moves a little. It is not over yet. Not quite yet.

My voice thick with tears I sing, so softly I may just be saying it in my own head, "**_Solid stone is just sand and water, baby. Sand and water, and a million years gone by."_**

Minutes pass and finally, ever so slowly, I move away from him****then walk to the phone and pick it up. I know this number but it eludes me. I don't know anything right now but that Jason will not be here to love tomorrow.

And yet _this is part of loving him today _and I am proud to be in this room.

Finally the numbers come and I dial. When someone says hello, I tell them "You should come now." I disconnect quickly, not wanting to have to say more.

I turn and stare at Jason. And suddenly he is standing up and looking as handsome as ever. He laughs and so do I.

"That was a good joke, huh?" he says "That whole pretending to be dying thing?"

"Hilarious." I agree. I move toward him, needing to feel him holding me, but the image fades as I take the first step.

Who did I call? I can't remember now.

I'm standing there still when there is a knock on the bedroom door. Soon Robin is next to me.

"I'll check him." she says

Robin goes to the bed and takes his pulse. After a few more moments she whispers, "He's in a coma."

I nod.

Coma. A new world to add to this horrific last chapter of his life.

Every heartbreaking twist shocks me a little. It's not like I don't know these things happen. They happen to good people everyday somewhere in the world.

But how can Jason Morgan suffer the same fate as other mortal men?

Heros aren't supposed to die like this. They die in a flash, I thought.

But now I know better. Heroes can die slow.

Robin says, "Do you want a break? I could stay for a while."

"A break?" I repeat, the words sounding hollow, foreign and meaningless. "This is all I have left."

She nods, her eyes kind. How odd that I can find common ground with her when the battle is almost over now.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me." she says "Patrick is here too. Should I call anyone else?"

"Not yet. There's still time for all that...later."

Robin runs her hand down Jason's arm, I can see how she is barely touching him, and then clutches his hand. But only for a second. Soon she is gone from the room and it is just Jason and I again, as it should be.

With him gone my last day on earth will feel lonelier than if he was holding my hand, I accept that fact now. But my first moment in heaven will be glorious, when I can see his face, those eyes, again.

I pull up a chair and say, "Do you remember the time you met this wild, bitchy crazy woman at a bar? And than she wouldn't go away."

I smile, it feels odd.

"You made me never want to be without you again. Because with you I felt complete acceptance. That's how I knew it was you that I needed to spend my life with, that your faith in me would make me better that I could hope to be without you."

I reach for his hand. I love this hand.

"What made you go along with my crazy schemes I will never know. Remember the garbage strike I started? Remember the time I went to that meeting of the five families wielding a baseball bat?"

I laugh for both of us.

"What would I have done without you to save me? And you did. Every time.

Did I ever pay you back? Could I? I hoped I loved you half as well as you did me."

I gulp. How can this be my last conversation with my best friend?

This all feels so damn unfair.

But I know I was lucky Jason ever met me, loved me, stayed with me. I was lucky that day in Jake's and all the days after.

And if I was a better person that might temper my anger now. But Jason is the reasonable person between us. He thinks things out. I just feel and right now I feel pissed at God for doing this to Jason.

But I can't focus on those emotions now. I can't waste these precious moments with my love.

"What made you never give up on me, Jase? Maybe you couldn't shake the feeling we were meant to be in each other's lives. I know I couldn't. No matter how rough it got I never thought of walking away. Cause you...you, Jase...you made it all worth it. You made my life."

Tears roll down my cheeks and onto my hands.

"Remember the time..."

**And it went on like for all the minutes that were left. I told him the story of us, one more time before he had to go.**

THE END

Okay I doubt I will ever write anything that sad about Jason and Carly again. So thanks for reading it. I had the idea and went with it but it depressed me a little to read when I was done. Hope I didn't bring you down too bad.

The next Jason and Carly story I will post has romantic moments and some tough emotional tug of wars to get through before they see if they can get to happily ever after. But it is much more upbeat that this story. It's called The Last Mrs. Morgan.

THE END

The song in this chapter is sung by

Beth Nielsen Chapman.


End file.
